Updated: May 21
On seventh day he resurrected
Plan was to wait til its all over but man, although this stage is about to end, all this is far from over. And I only kinda just realised how bad it all is.. So here we go, with a little help...
Funny, how my last post on Facebook and Personal IG
happened to be this one just few hours before we rang ambulance the first time.
It's as if I was posting to my near future self and tell you what.. There was a point on Friday, mega early hours, when this came to my mind when I was running on probably 20% of heart with anything else being off or on support. That was, as much as I recall the critical moment, the 'closest one to the loss, failure, death..
But I told myself, listen boy you've no idea what is happening but you got no body left, you need that last bit of mind, you need it.. It was constant battle to try and stay in game, hardest thing ever but before I even though I could give in - " what if I can" popped out I'm my head, what if I actually can find out what's behind this hill, this corner. And I see it now.
Never give in as you might be just there
This will be a long post I believe and a chaotic one, proper chaotic just as those weeks . I'm restricted with IG and facbook post size so turning it into a blog which with all the weird and longer stories, adventures and info, details etc you can read on our website. Make sure you do. Make sure you share too 😉
Photos are for illustration purposes only and there won't be the real drastic ones uploaded.
My sepsis fight for life
Sepsis is the body’s extreme response to an infection. It is a life-threatening medical emergency. Sepsis happens when an infection you already have triggers a chain reaction throughout your body. Without timely treatment, sepsis can rapidly lead to tissue damage, organ failure, and death. Mortality rate from 20% - 40% so from 1in5 to 2in5 and it can kill within as little as 12h.
From 1st symptom to ambulance. Short, around 30-40min. Shivers, dizziness, fainting sensation, hot/cold, viomiting, weakness, confusion..
Ambulance to Emergency room admission. 2h all together. Same as above plus hard to talk, further weakened, losing muscle control, not being able to use legs very soon. Thinking clear but it takes anergy.
TRAIN YOUR KIDS BODIES.
Throwing up. Kidneys gave in, cant wee. A tube connection between bladder and urine container made via penis. No urine beein produced at the time. Stamach stopped working, even though thrown up a lot so far it's still full. The first attempt of pushing a thick tube down my nostril through throat all way down to stomach, didn't work well, lots of viomit, nearly fainted. Memories getting blurry, already plugged in to first drugs. Plenty staff trying to keep me awake - bless them.
Critical care unit admission, very late on Thursday. Not sure about the time 11pm maybe? Midnight?
Things speeding up. A LOT of staff all over me, tests, interviews as much as possible. Many different rooms, lots of plugs on my arms, neck, hands, forearms. Some surgical vein connections - like central vein plugged solid, dressed and stitched to my skin - the most important one, with like 10 lines plugged into connector so drugs keep going through it 247 non stop for nearly 7 days as I found out. Another surgical one on left manly for regular blood samples - 2-4 times a day. Second attempt on stomach bag connection, unpleasant but worked fine. The tube from my penis had to go out as caused a horrible irritation. Reatempted few hours later with success ( still here, the 50cm long in and around 150cm long out bloody thing!)
HELP YOUR KIDS DEVELOPE HEALTHY HEARTS THROUGH DIET AND EXERCISE
Anyhow, finally got me a room, a proper seperate one high risk I guess. All drugs - do believe there was at least 12 lines pumping all kind of drugs 247 at that time. That's where I remember a system crash as well, plenty staff rushing about around me as if I was on carousel and I feel like someone just switches button after button : click - short breath ; click - can't talk ; click kidneys gone ; click - vision off ; click - body in agony ; click - blood pressure don't exists ; click - Where's the oxygen ; click heart slowing dangerously down ; click - voice in my head " thats it my boy, it was nice that life, you did well for yourself, longer and better than we though but you can't no more.. 😭 Whoa whoa whoa but what if I can? 🤩 What if I can see what's more to come. I knew my body is gone, my body is dependant on all those machines it's plugged into so I need to keep my mind in it, whatever is left there to not relay on the machine only, for as long as possible..
Long fight it was. Staff on long hyperlapse finally dropping out one by one, the film slowing down, room getting emptier. Plenty of drugs, me, my bed, massive high and 2 other people constant with me with others droppi g in / out. New drugs, more drugs, morphine, 2 type of adrenaline and 10s of others sent me to new, few dimensional world / worlds?
TRAIN YOUR KIDS MINDSET.
Confusion, a lot of. Didn't move room at all yet had a visions as if I was moved around at least 3 times. Begging staff to stop messing about with me and take me to my room.. No sleep just high. Torn inbetween thoughts, pains, confusions. Not knowing what's going on.
Finally, must have been Sunday early, opened my eyes with shock as my body wouldn't respond whatsoever. A one bloody big DOMS effect. EVERY single muscle hurts like I just did 3 weeks of coal mining followed by 100 ironman in 100 days but I knew I did nothing. Muscle hurts when touch. I can't lift arm, hand, bend leg or turn on the side. Almost as if I was paralysed.. Few days like that. Body bloated from drugs, swallen and red. Looking hurts, everytime shut eyes I'm immediately back to the other world. Like a split second.. Yiu know when yiu wake up in dream but you still in dream? I've had it like all day long, wasn't sure what's what..
DONT ABUSE STUFF. Everything's for people but smart.
They changing drugs. More heart scans and tests. Talking to me, I've no idea what's really.
Replied to 10s of texts in my head just to found out later the texts I thought I've replied was never opened. No texts, emails, comments read or opened as I couldn't read nor write nor would remember talking to ppl anyway.. All monologs much appreciated though..
New doctors, new staff. A lot of help with basics ie bending leg whilst lieing down. Toilet, wash, teeth brush only just starting thinking about it. Some stuff embarrassing.. But they don't mind helping you..
Stay active. Help your family and friends stay active. Check those virtual events.
And here we go - adrenaline stop, the other adrenaline stop - progress. Then more drugs off. Finally found antibiotic that works for me. White cells calming down. Blood platelet infusion succeed..
I'm being discharged... To coronary care unit..
Coronary care unit, admissioned on day 7th
Can't walk, can't stand, migrenes, short breath irregularities in heart work. New drugs to help heart recovery, blood thinners. Antibiotics, supplements, blood tests. Heart scans, heart MRI. Very very tired. Just turning to the side on bed puts me to sleep for hours. Breathing restricted.. Been here 4 days already..many,many steps back but few forward too... This is going to be long ass road to recovery..
It's Saturday, 10th day. . Weight loss just under 12kg so nearly 2 stone. (updated on 16th)
Beard hair keep coming off. I'm gonna attempt to stand and make One Step. One Step Closer Right?
I did 4 😉
Seriously think about daily recovery, invest in your body and mind. Check cbd products. Drink water. Walk. Cycle. Smile.
I've no idea what's going on in the world. No clue. I see messaged coming my way daily. Some of you people just sending daily like you were talking to me 😊 every single text and gesture, act helped me this past days and keep helping. Promise, once I'm decent ish I'll start reading up.
I'll be back soon to continue my mission of being fitness gangsta role model, to help people stay active and fit, now even more realising that me being decent fit saved my life. Will resume all fitness services One Step Closer as soon as possible and be back training in no time. Need time, patience and minimum stress triggers.. Days, weeks, months of rehab but I'll be back.
Peace and love 😍
Can't wait to do that bloody Ironman Bolton one year.. 😏
Things are up and down now, had better day yesterday than today due to meds affecting my blood pressure.
Fainting and dizziness stops me from trying to mobilise. Few other side effects but it's all expected and not gonna bother you with details. Results of
MRI scan last night came up good ( considering everything). They reducing meds and stopping antibiotic as blood cultures came up negative 2nd time.
Physio was here today but we didn't do much coz of my state. They'll be back tomorrow and if not unexpected reversals, blood pressure goes up, body will show them that I'm ready i shall be realised from here. Home time where new episode will begin.